Thanks for this space, I'm coming up on an anniversary and I've been having trouble figuring out if I want to remember the day alone or ask others to participate in some way. What have you all done before?
As you come in, if you wish to share your TFMR story, your baby's name, a grief or special remembrance date with us, if you want to post a "heart <3" comment on another's post, all welcome.
I'll share my TFMR story first. My baby, second pregnancy, was very sick and we found out in the 11-14 week scan. All these terms were flying at us that I had never heard before. Hydrops, cystic hygroma, Turner's, no nasal bone, possible genetic anomalies like a trisomy... And then we were told we only had less than a week "to decide" but we still had to cross into another state no matter what. No matter that I could get sick, no matter that she could die or suffer as the weeks went on.
The whole process, the brutal, shameful laws and conditions that so many of us go through the hardest thing of our lives ... it lit a fire in me, a fire so strong to love and care for others like us. Baby loss misunderstood, but baby loss STILL.
That was in 2018, and now todayI've created groups and spaces and programs and workshops and an annual conference for US.
And this space, this is a space for US. For our expression, for our healing. A light in the darkness that feels like it is overtaking humanity at this moment.
A password protected area, CODED BY ME, HOSTED BY ME (yes, I went into white text blinking on black background consoles and learned HTML, Javascript, CSS, HPH, mySQL, command functions, and more to BIRTH THIS INTO BEING!!)
So we can type "abortion", not @b0rtion or whatever stupid shit we have to write to get around algorithms. So we can say "baby" and no self-righteous such and such will come down on us in the comments.
No, this is AN EXTENSION of the safety and holding and care we create together in the circles, in our spaces, in our groups and this space if for us, by us.
I love you all, thanks for creating this space with me.
It will evolve as we do. To OUR needs, not to the needs of some tech algorithm.
Welcome to the TFMR community wall! This is our sacred space.
These notes, this community, dedicated to Clara and all our babies. To the bravery and tender hearts of the TFMR community. Our healing is OURS, spaces are OURS, we heal together.